i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
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