Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
Randomize
