Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Randomize
