I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
Randomize
