theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
Randomize
