Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
Randomize
