fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
Randomize
