I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
Randomize
