reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
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