He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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