I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
Randomize
