pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
Randomize
