I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
