I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
Randomize
