Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
