i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
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