omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
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