I can't open my eyes
Lol why not?
Because I have fat ankles and I'm drunk
There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize
