You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
Randomize
