i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
I'd cum for enchiladas.
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
