last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
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