Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
then he tried to convert me to islam
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
Randomize
