its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
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