Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
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