I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
Randomize
