He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
ok first of all what the fuck
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
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