When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
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you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
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