He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
He's on the porch naked. Help.
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
