You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
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