This is not my ceiling
Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
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