just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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