like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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