We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
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Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
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Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
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