I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
Can you repeat that, but with context?
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize
