did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
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