I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
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