Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
Randomize
