I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
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