She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
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