I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
Randomize
