bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
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The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
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