I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
