on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
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