I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
then he tried to convert me to islam
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On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
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