I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
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