My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
Randomize
