Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
Randomize
