Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
So called my VP's house on Sunday drunk and told him that if he didn't hire me for the new position I would skull fuck his wife. They asked me to go home today. Thanks again Vodka
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
i want to swaddle you in tequila
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Randomize
