This is not my ceiling
if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Randomize
