I feel like abortions should bother me more
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
50% drunk capacity currently
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
Randomize
