i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Randomize
