belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
We're like a lot better than the average bears
I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Randomize
