we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
You're breaking my sexual little heart
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
You ruined the universe
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
Randomize
