where am i from again
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
Randomize
