She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
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