How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
