a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
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