So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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