Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
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