White coat. Heels.
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
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