YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
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