another moral hangover. fuck.
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
Randomize
