I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
Randomize
