i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
Welp...herpes.
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
